*whispers* catpuccino
OMG I THOUGHT THEY WERE LEAVES
CatPURRccino
“And so I drink, I drink until the bottle is emptier than I am.”
— 2am (via 2am-spilledink)
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I’ve been automatic, causing-havoc mode. Fall asleep, wake up manic-mode. And I gotta stop, but I can’t, so I have another drink- just to not hit panic mode.
Progress
Sunday: 149.6
Monday: 147.2
Tuesday: 146.4
Today: 144.0
Progress
Sunday: 149.6
Monday: 147.2
Tuesday: 146.4
Today: 144.0
Still 144.0
if you just binged its ok. you are ok. you can feel the food crawling up your throat, you are overwhelmed by guilt, but you are ok. i swear, its fine. in 20 min go drink water, take a shower if you can, sometimes water can wash away the sticky feeling of previous events. you are forgiven. forgive yourself. you are good. you are forgiven. you are beautiful. you are forgiven. you are forgiven
I dream of you as crystals not found in caves, but in molten plasma,
as colours not expressed in any paintings alone,
as black ink on a page, so clear in its language that it echos.
You feel like the orange-yellow on the back of my eyelids,
the first meal to touch my lips in years,
a drink when my throat sticks to itself in dusty air.
Your husky voice, on a line from hundreds of miles away,
a whisper in my ear,
“Can you see the Big Dipper too?”
perfect health is mostly good luck. you could do everything right and suddenly get cancer or some genetic condition or infection or illness. you can be an athlete you can train your body you can train your mind you can read every health magazine you can grow your own food and sleep right and still wind up with health conditions or disabilities. sometimes it just hits you one day. a lot of chronically and terminally ill people were relatively healthy at first and then one day, wham. or it happens gradually. either way, people are often tempted to be in denial.
pay attention to your body. if something feels like it is changing, listen. see a doctor. you are not immune to illness or disability just because you do yoga or drink water or go to the gym. life is not that convenient.
As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too.
I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.
This is something everyone should see. Thank you for sharing this.
Transformers kept me alive. When the 2007 movie was announced I was going through an incredibly hard time emotionally. I saw the preview and every time I thought about killing myself I thought, “but then I won’t get to see this thing I’ve always wanted to see, good or not.” And it got me through.
I’m in a place where I live for myself now, but don’t toss away a life preserver just because other people think you should be able to swim on your own.
don’t toss away a life preserver just because other people think you should be able to swim on your own
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
I can say that for myself, waiting to see how all these Marvel films turn out has been a hell of a life preserver for me
Yeah. Whatever it is you gotta do to keep yourself alive, cling to it. The “reason to smile” tag equates to a “reason to live”. It is those connections outside of our ownselves that can give us the ability to live.
Everyone who reblogs this before New Years (11:59 PM 12/31/17)
will be given a small art piece based off of their blog! (Well a photo over Tumblr of it but it’ll be good quality)
And I mean EVERYONE as long as it’s before the end date! Reblog fast for cute art things!